And Then She Was Gone

"And She Was Gone"
By Ginger Foutley
from the season 3 episode

She chose to walk alone
Though others wondered why
Refused to look before her,
Kept eyes cast upwards,
Towards the sky.

She didn't have companions
No need for earthly things.
Only wanted freedom,
From what she felt were
Puppet strings.

She longed to be a bird. That she might fly away.
She pitied every blade of grass
For planted they would stay.

She longed to be a flame,
That brightly danced alone.
Felt jealous of the steam
That made the air its only home.

Some say she wished too hard.
Some say she wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that she was gone.

Some say she wished too hard.
Some say she wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that she was gone.

The trees, they say stood witness.
The sky refused to tell.
But someone who had seen it said
The story played out well.

She spread her arms out wide.
Breathed in the break of dawn.
She just let go of all she held...

And then she was gone.

Gosh I love this poem, I heard it a long time ago..

YaoPeng looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll be she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

YaoPeng talk to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the tears on my face
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

YaoPeng walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the tears on my face
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

So I walk home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight cause

He's the reason for the tears on my face
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

YaoPeng looks at me, I faked a smile so he won't see

but he saw in the end.. =\

You Can't Lose What You Never Had

Baby, you're so wonderful
And, when I'm near you, I can't breathe
A man like you gets what he wants
When he wants it
You're so out of my league

I try not to show you any emotion
Don't wanna let you see what you're doin' to me
I imagine the two of us together
But I've been livin' in reality

Fear of rejection
Kept my love inside
But time is running out
So damn my foolish pride

I'm afraid that you think I'm crazy
It really matters if it turns out bad
I've got all fear of losin' you
I can lose what we now have
Uncertain if I should confess my love to you
I've been keepin' it inside, feelin' I could die
Now, if you turn away, baby, that's not okay
I don't want the last moment to be of you saying goodbye
I can lose what we now have

Rules are made for breakin'
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
I may be worse off than I am right now
But I may never get the chance again

Fear of rejection
Kept my love inside
Told my heart I didn't want you
But I lied

I truly care if you think I'm crazy
It really matter if it turns out bad
I've got all the fear in the world of losin' you
I can lose what we now have
Now, if I confess my love to you
I'll be lettin it out all, all the feelings inside
But, if you turn away, baby, that's not okay
I don't want the last moment we have to be you saying goodbye

Here on the outside, lookin' in
Don't wanna stay dreamin' 'bout what could have been
Need to hear you speak my name
But I'm afraid you'll shoot me down in flames

I can lose what we now have
We can lose what we now have...

Nationals.. Throwers' Lunch

I have been very busy lately mugging my brain out, so whenever I reach home, it'll be like almost 2300!!! ARGH!!! But studying so late into school has it's bonuses.. like Mr Tan Yew Hwee actually sees me studying so he won't find YaoPeng or my sister to tell them to ask me to study..

So hence, this entry is about 3-4 weeks late

DATE

Random photos first!

The super cute, tall, buff, hot, sexy, etc. number tag 92 from Singapore Sports School..

But he's already taken and he looks better in person

Amanda, totally random, but ya..

These photos have nothing whatsoever to do with the Nationals, but hey.. they're pretty and I think emo.. so I'm just putting it up so you can appreciate my 'artistic talents'

These photos were taken when Danny persuaded me to pon lecture with him.. I was supposed to be reading the notes, but.. ended up taking emo cherry pictures instead >=p

I'm easily distracted

Okae,now on to the main part of the entry.. THROWERS' LUNCH at some sushi place..

Here's the skinny.. there were 12 of us, 4 per table..

TABLE 1: ChenXiao, Liyin, Royce and Me

TABLE 2: JingChen, Amanda, some VS guy, ???

TABLE 3: Shaun, ???, ???, ???

I don't know a lot of the throwers' names.. Anyway, we had a food eating contest just for the fun of it.. XD

ChenXiao..

Royce said the squid was very cute..

So I made everyone take a picture with the squid

Liyin also..

I don't like to take pictures alone.. but Liyin look so sian!!!

Royce's rice under all the plates

Royce pigging out very unglam-ly

ChenXiao dying out!!!

He can't take it anymore!!!

Plates inspection time..

Hmm.. this looks fine..

Ahha!! KENA CAUGHT!!!

Amanda's table

Shaun's table

Happy People.. Of course Shaun's table won in the end.. My table got last.. =(.. Each table ate 50+ plates!!! that's like at least 160 plates altogether and the bill could have easily costed us $320!!! However it was a buffet!!! =P

It was DAMN BLOODY EXTREMELY FREAKIN FUN!!! The rest of the track team should get to know the throwers more..

THE END

Not gonna need a Prince in Shining Armor

When I was just a little girl
My momma used to tuck me into bed and she read me a story
It always was about a Princess in distress
And how a guy would save her and end up with the glory
I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be
Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White
Waiting for a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side

Don't want to depend on no-one else
I'd rather rescue myself
Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am
Don't need nobody taking care of me
I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me
When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing

I can slay, my own dragon
I can dream, my own dreams
My knight in shining armour is me
So I'm gonna set me free

TaF from secondary school days

I admit it, I like track trainings.. Heck, I love it.. or at least I think I loved it..

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I remember when I was in secondary school, how we had no coach for the first 2 years.. We just warmed up and did some drills for about one hour before playing games like captain's ball and soccer.. Sometimes we did gym, which made the trainings longer, and sometimes we do "repetitions" around the school.. We NEVER trained on the track..
THATS how sucky the training was.. but I liked it, it was fun.. and I was good at captain's ball..

When Mr Tan Kim Seng came, I was apprehensive at first, coz I REALLY enjoyed our games, and with a new coach, who knows what would happen..

The first change was that we actually went to a proper stadium to train.. We mostly went to Bedok Stadium to train, many fond memories there from my primary school Sports Day glory days (which I can also say I did not train for on track, but around school)..

The second change was NO GAMES after training.. was a big bummer initially, but I soon grew to love the intense and challenging workouts he gave us.. Pushing myself to my limit, trusting him to know when to stop the training, to know when I can't continue.. I was a good.. should I say trainee? I listened well to my coach and NEVER left a workout incomplete no matter what (unless you count injuries)..

The last change happened in my late sec 3 days.. we were to train with the Temasekians.. It was a little dry at first, but soon I appreciated their prescence.. The girls from my school were always behind me, and I didn't have the push to go faster, they were also slow in their movement about the stadium, I was always ahead.. The Temasekians (guys) provided the extra push I needed.. I ran with them for the 200m repetitions repeatedly, keeping better constant timing.. Things were fine, I never had an injury.. (except that time I played basketball and sprained my ankle badly 3 weeks before Nationals and recovered only one week before)..

I loved the feeling of accomplishment after a job well done, and that high feeling you feel after a hard day's training.. Especially if your coach gives you positive feedback

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Now, I'm in VJC, and I get my first ever hamstring injury (which TOTALLY SUCKS), don't need to travel to a stadium for training (for now) and have girls who are on par, or maybe even better than me (yay!).. Plus the extra bonus a few people know about *GRINS*.. yup, life is good, and the competition here is not as hard, coz no SSS (yay!)..

VJC doesn't do group cool downs, maybe one of the reasons I had the injury since I keep forgetting to do my cooldown stretches.. (argh!)

My hamstring.. it is super annoying.. because of it, I can't sprint as I used to, even striding hurts abit.. You know when you eat food, there may be an aftertaste? When I (try to) sprint, there is an after pain.. The harder I try, the more intense it is, so sometimes after trying to do faster striding, I just stand on the track, not moving for a few seconds, waiting for the pain to subside..
My captain, Mr Lim also has a hamstring injury (he had one last year also).. He finds it odd that my hamstring hasn't gotten better since I injured it during SPH.. ME TOO! WHY!?!?!?!
I miss it, the short bursta of speed.. accelerating as fast as you can, i miss doing speed training, all I've been doing recently are repetitions!

But so far, the best thing about VJ's training is that I understand more.. with the old Mr Tan, I didn't know how to push off the blocks, I didn't know how to keep my hips high and bring my knees up while running, I didn't even know that 200m is not 100% all out all the way! I've become a better athlete..

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But the past don't matter now, what matters is the present and future.. The present is the current Nationals, I will try to do my best for the Nationals..

However the future is quite foggy.. I'm unsure to whether join basketball or stay with track.. I can't choose both as I value my studies..

If I join basketball, I no longer have to worry about my mass, and also playing basketball, I don't feel the same pain as I do in track..

But I'm closer to the trackers, and track doesn't require as much strategy as basketball (which I'm not exactly good at)..

So I guess the deciding factors now are which one needs more players/runners and if i get a good leadership role in track..

Praying for mine and YaoP's hastened recovery, and Manda's recovery too, and may the Lord she so loves guide her and strengthen her every single day and allow her the joy in life she deserves..

love you manda, and please get well soon

Track Camp 2007.2